Top Five Topics You Shouldn’t Talk About on A First Date
The weekend has finally made it. And that means date nights are upon us. Maybe you have been set up on a blind date. Or you have found your potential HEA (Happily Ever After, for those of you who aren't into romance novels) through the numerous dating apps that are around. But no matter your age, some adults in Midland and Odessa are patiently waiting for 5pm to arrive, heading home, and getting ready to experience a first date tonight or tomorrow. And, if I am lucky, or maybe if they are, they read this post before heading out. Both of us for totally different reasons, of course.
You see, I will not be experiencing a first date this weekend. Happily married for many years, I do not envy what many people are experiencing in today's dating world. But, I do empathize what you are going through. Many of my friends are experiencing the ritual of "finding the perfect person". A true believer in there being someone out there for everyone, I also think that there are some taboo items that need to be eliminated right of of the gate.
My husband and I enjoy date nights, especially now that we are empty nesters (and no, that doesn't mean that we are in our on our way to the retirement home). We find ourselves out playing our own game trying to spot the couples out on their first date. You know, that couple that appears to be in the middle of the awkward silence, or trying to hard with forced laughs. Or someone talking way too much while the other keeps refilling their wine glass? We attempt to figure out "what are they talking about now"? Which is what led me to this post. Of What the 5 topics a "couple" should not talk about on the first date. With all of the possible topics available to explore about the other person, here are the 5 topics I believe you should stay away from on date number one to avoid drama, and perhaps be asked out on a second date, if that's your end game.
#5 Money. As in, ”How much money do you earn at your job?” “How much money do you have in your account?” Okay, really? On date #1? At this point in your "relationship", all you really need to care about it, do they have enough money to cover the tab for that night. Asking someone about their financial situation makes you look a bit needy and should I dare say like a gold digger?
#4 Politics. Multiple reasons for this. Even if you are in the same party, no one ever is in 100% agreement on all of the issues. Be prepared for your first argument. Do you really want your first debate before the appetizers arrive? If you have spoken to them prior to the date, you probably have an idea on their political views at this point. A blind date set up by your friends means they think there was some sort of compatibility, and if they are wrong, maybe you need better friends. But, at least get a meal out of it without the scene.
#3 Religion. Please refer back to #4. I feel these two topics go hand and hand. No one is walking down the aisle after date one, unless you are in Vegas and there were a lot of drinks involved. And chances are, unless this post takes off, we are in Midland, Texas. So, let's table religion until we know favorite color, or whether they prefer cats or dogs. Just seems like a safe bet.
#2 The Ex. Although there can be some great stories that come from this, no one and i need to stress and repeat, NO ONE, wants to hear about your ex on date number one. Yes, eventually the skeleton has to come out of the closet. Did you love them? That's wonderful. Was your heart broken? That is truly terrible. But do you need to address it on date one over the salad? What point is that really proving? The answer, for those of you who are thinking to answer me, is N.O. The only way you should be bringing your ex up is if they are standing in the lobby with a flash mob starting to dance to Bruno Mars’ “Marry Me”. Then, planning the escape route with your date and explaining why, yes. Other than that. remove this topic from your brain for the evening.
#1 Meeting your parents. This is for both men and women. Women...Nothing screams "marry me" more than "You should meet my family". Perhaps not a bad thing once the relationship has matured but not something your date wants to hear on night number one. Unless the app you found him on was "Looking for a Wife on The First Date" and I don't think I have stumbled on that one. And gentleman, for all of you out there that think women and just sitting around waiting for you to bring us home to meet mom, we aren't. There is a fine line between what we see as a grown man and a “mama’s boy”. If you are bringing up meeting your mom on the first date, what we are hearing is she is still comes over to your home/apartment on Sundays and cleans and does your laundry. If you are over the age of 18 we are not okay with that.
So, there is my list of top 5 things not to bring up on date number one. There are so many issues that could cause a date to derail. Being late, a bad attitude toward the hostess, drama over the way your meal was cooked, or in today's generation not being able to stay off your phone. And I am sure there are plenty of other topics people would add to my list of five. My grandfather would have added baseball to this list. He would say nothing could break up a relationship like a good Cardinals fan meeting a Cubs fan (sorry, Midwest girl). He insisted on finding out on date number one. He didn’t want to invest too much time on something that would never last.
I do hope this helps because I believe in finding that one person who can make you laugh. Your best friend in the crazy world. And with only a few topics to avoid, you should if compatible, make it through the evening, without issues, and perhaps enjoy a second date. Then later down the road, maybe meet the family. If not, my husband and I thank you for the entertainment for the evening, because there will be those select few that will always like to see if they can beat the odds and bring these topics up way too soon.