The 10 Commandments of Driving in the Permian Basin
With the influx of people coming in from all over the country to our little dried up sea bed of the Permian Basin, here are some commandments for driving in our part of the world.
- Thou Shalt Not Drive the Speed Limit - This is pretty much for all of Texas but especially here, speed limits are just a suggestion in Texas but DPS troopers and police will still pull you over.
- Thou Shalt Get in the Lane You Need When Turning on Another Road - If you know you are going to need to get in the lane next to the left turn lane and you are making a right turn, THEN DO IT!! Don't hold up traffic trying to signal and move into the lane you need once you have made the turn.
- Thou Shalt Use the Acceleration Lane Properly - Some people need to know what an acceleration lane is, that is the lane going from the service road to the Super Slab (i.e. the main highway). This lane is where you accelerate to the speed of the highway so the people on the highway don't have to place all the stuff in their back seat under their front seat.
- Thou Shalt Pay Attention to the Traffic Lights - Yes, they take a while to turn green but that is no excuse for you to try to make a hostile takeover of your bank through your phone app or text your significant other about the effects of global warming on the planet. Do that when you get home because no one has time to wait on you!
- Thou Shalt Not Be Polite Less Than 1000 Feet From a Traffic Light - You know these people, they stop traffic and give space to a person wanting to turn left out of a parking lot onto a REALLY busy street with several lanes like 42nd or Wadley, while no one else is going to do the same on the other 6 lanes of the street so here they are stuck in front of the polite driver and you are behind the polite driver seeing all of the city pass you by because someone wanted to be nice.
- Thou Shalt Not Expect to Merge When You Saw the Construction Sign When Everyone Else Did - This is for those who want to get a better place in line when they notice a lane has been closed off for construction or just closed off for no apparent reason.
- Thou Shalt Gun It When the Light Turns Green - Unless you are over 70 like Granny Gottrocks, you have no excuse not to be up to the speed limit in less than 5 seconds when the light turns green. It's bad enough we have to sit at the light for what seems like an eternity around here, so when the light turns green, act like you are Denny Hamlin and you are seeing the green flag at Daytona.
- Thou Shalt Pay Attention to Emergency Vehicles - Keep a lookout for emergency vehicles like an ambulance or fire truck. I know it may be hard to hear them since you have the new Adele song cranked to 50, but that is why they have lights that flash red and blue, that is the emergency vehicle sign language for "get the hell out of the way."
- Thou Shalt Pay Attention to the Traffic Light of the Road You Are Turning Off Of - This plainly means that if you are turning right from one busy street onto another busy street and the light is green of the road you are turning off of, no one is going to hit you, they will hit the other 3 lanes of traffic before they hit you, just make that corner and don't apply the brake.
- Thou Shalt Not Cut Off the Others on the Road - In case you were not listening back when you were in Drivers Ed in high school, you are not supposed to merge over in front of the person you are passing until you see both headlights in your rearview mirror. This is best practiced when passing an oilfield truck that is much bigger than you in your Smart Car and can flatten you like a beer can if they so choose.
There are your 10 Commandments for Driving in the Permian Basin, take some of those with a grain of salt and stay safe out there.