The Great West Texas Thermostat War

In every West Texas household, the thermostat is a battlefield. The combat is fought quietly between people who think 78°F is "comfortable" (sadists) and those who swear they will perish if it rises above 72.

The Neverending Battle

You know the type — Dad's walking around shirtless, mumbling to themselves, "Electricity ain't free!" contemplating adding another security camera to catch whoever keeps turning it down. Meanwhile, moms are wrapped up in burrito blankets, threatening divorce if anyone dares raise the dial a hair.

Traitors in The Night

There's never a truce, is there? Only, perhaps, a temporary ceasefire until someone inevitably sneaks down the hallway in the middle of the night to "just take a peek at it," followed by the sound of the A/C clinking on and someone screaming "TREACHERY" from across the house. The following morning, like clockwork, everyone notices a new passive-aggressive sticky note that reads something along the lines of, "STOP IT", and that's putting it mildly...

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Sometimes, You Gotta Go

Despite the misery, the West Texas Thermostat War never ends, especially not until the kids are grown and out of the house. The minute I moved out of my folks' place, I swore I'd pay for comfort and never sweat myself to sleep again.

You'll Finally Get It

There are days when I think about giving it up, turning it off altogether, and roaming my apartment naked, but then I remind myself that I could stand to spend less on food, drop a few pounds, and more easily justify footing such a massive electric bill each month. Maybe I'll be able to squeeze into those high school jeans that have been hanging in the back of my closet for 20 years...

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